Back to Normal, My Arse!

Ugh. I swear, a guy can't get a break around here. OK, maybe some guys can, but not me. Allow me to explain:

That Dog that was here? Totally landed on his feet. The "Ess-Pee-See-Ay" called yesterday to tell The Woman that the Dog's owners had picked him up from the "shelter". Yes, the beast went home, and we're all happy for him. Apparently his People lost him quite a distance away from where The Woman found him, and they were very glad she'd picked him up, and that she and The Man were nice to him and kept him safe. I'm a little hurt that I was not specifically thanked for not biting his face off or something; I'm VERY tough like that, you know. I totally could've done it, but I felt sorry for the poor bugger, so I didn't.

So he's OK, and that's all very well and good, but the "Ess-Pee-See-Ay" is causing me some grief. Apparently this place, which they still insist on spelling in front of me, not only returns Dogs to their families (much to the dismay of any Cats who are trying to dispose of them, I'm sure). No, they also place abandoned or lost kitties in new homes, much like when I joined this family a few years ago. Do you see where I'm going with this?

Last night The Man and The Woman sat me down on the bed and gave me a Talk; they said I might be getting a Brother Cat. They said I'll always be Numero Uno, blah, blah, blah. Damn right, I will! The point is, I'm perfectly happy being an Only Puss, and I see no reason to change the situation. The People seem to think that bringing this Cat home would be a nice thing to do, and they think (get this!) that I might ENJOY THE COMPANY of another Cat. Bah! I'll believe THAT when I see it!

And get this: the poor Bugger's name is Roxie. A BOY named ROXIE!!! I don't care if they DO give him a more macho name when he comes to live here, I'm going to TEASE him sooo much! Ooh, I should practice... um, let's see... "Hey, Roxie, that's a, um, like, a GIRL NAME!" Ha ha ha ha!!! Oh, this is too easy!